alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
