You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
me + whiskey = a bad person
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
