I could make wine with my vomit
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
