I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
