New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
i now understand why vodka
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
