Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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