you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
