Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
