We're like a lot better than the average bears
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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