Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
