found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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