I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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