shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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