I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
