somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize