I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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