I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
