My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
