none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
