we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize