I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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