It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
