Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
