I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
i out mim tonsoeep
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