dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just googled if crying burns calories
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
