Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
