we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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