"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
