i permit you to call me
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
