I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
