you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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