Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Success! We fucked roommates!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
