there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
