theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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