to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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