I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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