The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
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