Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
