It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize