when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
