Don't make out with my wife yet
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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