i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
its not stalking. its research.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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