The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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