Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize