I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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