So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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