I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
he shaved USA in his pubs
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
