did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i think my mom watched the whole time
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
