After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
