I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
