why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
