Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
