I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
How naked do you want me to be?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
