I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
