I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
True strength comes from lack of pants
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I think my moral compass just broke
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