hell yes lets make some ravioli
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
