I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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