worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
