.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
