ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
We had sex on a dog bed..
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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