it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
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