It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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