Whod you bang
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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