Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Too much gin, very little bucket
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
